Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Laptop computer choices - droning on


Someone asked for opinions about what kind of laptop computer to buy.  What kind will last?

Looking ahead, in my LCD crystal ball, I see . . .

About 4 years from now:

Microsoft and Apple will have merged to form Micrapp.  

The new monopoly will be coming out with their Vision 2020 hybrid operating system, which they promise cannot crash, but which will finally end the whole Mac vs PC thing.

Google, Samsung, Hyundai and GM will have merged to produce their self-driving car, the Transformer, which they also promise cannot crash.  It will come with its own Android laptop that docks into the dashboard (not Micrapp compatible).

The latest laptop will be so thin, light and flexible you can fold it up and put it in your hip pocket.  It folds out to a full size screen and keyboard, but you won't need the keyboard because the new thought recognition software will have improved on voice recognition and autocorrect.  Just make sure to turn on the filters for evil thoughts and foul language.

You also won't need the full size display because the image will be transmitted directly to your optic nerves, giving new meaning to the boss getting on your nerves.

Despite the hip pocket laptop, you will still end up carrying a full size machine equipped with the "Drone-Defender" electronic counter measures system to protect against weaponized terrorist drones.  Drone-Defender is produced by an Israeli startup (Gehenna Corp) that also designed the drones before they were hacked by Edward Snowden, posted on WikiLeaks, and mass produced in Bangladesh.

Younique will be out with their 3D face painting technology computer where you just rest your chin on the touchpad, close your eyes, and computer optimized cosmetics are automatically applied.  Turn off Drone-Defender first, though. Conflicts can be unpredictable.

Don't even think about handing off your obsolete old 2015 laptop to the kids. They'll laugh at the old Mom's-lap computer.

In the year 2025; if man is still alive . . .

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